Piediluco Spettaculo; a dramatic re-telling

Alright, here goes, folks. This one has taken on a life of its own, a fitting fate for a tale we’d rather forget at times. It was hoped that telling the story in its entirety once and for all would help with this, but some of the quotes that have resurfaced are just too good to let go and will probably be used as source material for years to come.

Okay, here’s the situation: We are now back in Labro, it’s two weeks until a two-day festival at which we are the only scheduled entertainment and we’ve got a mountain of music to summit. On top of this, we’ve just agreed to do gig we know almost nothing about in one week’s time and our first rehearsal is today. We’re not going in totally blind; things we DO know include the following:

* A well-known Italian theater director has hired the Art Monastery band (including recent country-western diva Jennie Knaggs) to play music for a show.

* Well-known Italian theater director also wants Naomi to do a silks act.

* Naomi has spoken briefly with well-known Italian theater director and reports that he seems nice .

* Naomi also reports that well-known Italian theater director speaks little English.

* Gig takes place in the small lake town of Piediluco, which we can see from the top of the monastery. Few of us have actually been there, despite it being fifteen minutes’ drive away. Cloistered? You bet.

* The gig is an “Animazione” (animation) event, in which the audience will be led through a town scattered with small performances/happenings in various locations.

* We are one feature in a series of other amusements.

* At some point we will perform on a stage of some kind.

With these given circumstances, our heroes await an experience so ridiculous that nothing could have prepared them. We’ve been some days in preparation and are now happy to present our grand debut of Ivan and the Pediluco Spettaculo?!. A splendid time is guaranteed for all.

IVAN AND THE PIEDILUCO SPETTACULO?!

ACT ONE: The Monastery Theater

A BAND of young American musicians enters theater, sits, fidgets, waits for well-known Italian theater director. NAOMI is already in the theater warming up to perform on aerial silks. Instruments are tuned, Art Monastery artistic director CHRISTOPHER arrives to translate. BAND talks about upcoming country music festival, discusses arrangement ideas, congratulates selves on brilliance of aforementioned ideas.

Enter IVAN, well-known Italian theater director.

IVAN (pronounced EEE-van ) is a sprightly Italian man of about sixty. He has long white hair pulled into a high ponytail and his face is weathered, but his dark eyes twinkle like electrified marbles. He gesticulates wildly when he speaks and his voice has the breathy intensity of someone who has just yelled themselves hoarse at a football game. Virtually everything he says is prefaced by the Italian filler word “allora” (alright) and he dramatically escalates the intonation of his voice at the beginning of a sentence before half-mumbling the rest at great speed.

IVAN and CHRISTOPHER greet each other and exchange pleasantries. CHRISTOPHER introduces IVAN to BAND. IVAN turns to greet NAOMI, who is wearing a blue practice leotard and leg warmers. IVAN asks NAOMI to perform something for him and CHRISTOPHER interprets. NAOMI does a pretty silks act. IVAN asks her to do something more theatrical, asks if she can sing him a song whilst on silks. NAOMI climbs silks and sings “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” a song she has been working on for a Cirque du Soleil audition. IVAN, immediately dissatisfied, interrupts her by shouting something indecipherable in half-English. NAOMI, puzzled, returns to the ground, asks IVAN what he wants.

IVAN responds by performing a one-man show. Quiet at the start, his voice rides a rollercoaster of growing excitement as he declaims and his body expands and contracts dramatically as he flails back and forth in the center aisle. Five minutes later, IVAN finishes his story and turns expectantly to NAOMI. NAOMI, confused, asks CHRISTOPHER what just happened. CHRISTOPHER, also confused, believes that IVAN has just related the story of a dream that filmmaker Frederico Fellini once had, which may have something to do with exotic animals, a tree and a young boy watching the circus come to town. CHRISTOPHER is 85% certain that IVAN wants NAOMI to envision this dream as she climbs the silks. NAOMI gamely complies and after more shouting and adjustments by IVAN produces a satisfactory result.

NAOMI climbs the silks and begins to sing again. Halfway through the second verse IVAN starts shouting at BAND. Musicians, confused, discover that IVAN was expecting them to accompany NAOMI. BAND hasn’t ever played the song but pieces together enough accompaniment to repeat the scene. The beginning goes well, but at the top of the second chorus IVAN begins shouting at BAND again. Musicians, still confused, discover that IVAN expects them to sing background vocals as well. A quick vocal arrangement is constructed and BAND sings with NAOMI. IVAN shouts more instructions, makes more adjustments and eventually expresses satisfaction with the piece. BAND and NAOMI feel a sense of accomplishment but are uncertain as to what they have just accomplished. Two and a half hours have passed since IVAN’s arrival.

INTERMISSION

As you enter the lobby, take a moment to click the link below and listen to the song therein:

http://doublecouponday.blogspot.com/2009/07/bargain-day-half-off.html

You need to listen to this song because A) it’s fun and B) it’s important context for the second half of our show. Go ahead and click the link now: http://doublecouponday.blogspot.com/2009/07/bargain-day-half-off.html

Has “Bargain Day” fully seeped into your brain? Can you recall the tune?

You can? Excellent. Let’s continue.

ACT TWO: The Monastery Courtyard

After a quick break, BAND and NAOMI join IVAN in the monastery courtyard for more rehearsal. CHRISTOPHER has departed for a meeting, leaving BAND with an AMERICAN FRIEND who speaks Italian to translate. IVAN asks BAND to play another song. BAND, unaware of what they are about to commit themselves to, plays several bars of “Bargain Day,” a cheeky country-western novelty tune they learned the previous day. IVAN declares the song an ideal leitmotif (enthusiastically pronounced, “Life Motive!”) for the show. The following rehearsal ensues:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxZmAh-sE10

After a short break, BAND begins rehearsing again. Half an hour later they still have no idea what they’re doing. After another short break IVAN leads BAND out of the courtyard once more and onto the front steps of the monastery. IVAN arranges BAND into a tableau with all the male musicians gazing adoringly at lead vocalist Jennie Knaggs. IVAN steps back, scowls, rotates Jennie’s shoulders fifteen degrees, steps back, scowls, repeats process several more times. IVAN directs NAOMI to dance in front of BAND as they play. NAOMI dances and IVAN immediately begins shouting. NAOMI stops dancing and IVAN commands her to dance “…like Charlie Chaplin, but NOT like Charlie Chaplin.” NAOMI blindly attempts to convey this and IVAN is satisfied.

IVAN calls rehearsal to a halt, asks BAND to show him their costumes. BAND puts on flamboyant country-western gear, which IVAN dismisses as “too normale.” ANDREW goes to his tent and returns wearing yellow striped bell bottoms, a frilly red tux shirt, a belt buckle the size of a tea saucer and a neon green bowler with a red feather. IVAN stares at ANDREW. Several seconds pass in awkward silence, then IVAN suddenly leaps out of his seat and tackles ANDREW with a forceful hug, nearly knocking him over. BAND laughs a few seconds too long. More outrageous costumes are approved, a follow-up rehearsal is scheduled and IVAN exits.

ACT THREE: THE PIEDILUCO SPETTACULO

SCENE ONE: Piediluco

On the day of the show BAND arrives in the small lake town of Piediluco for a 10:00 AM rehearsal. A large stage has been built in the piazza and NAOMI’s silks are hung between two nearby buildings in preparation for the impending Spettaculo. IVAN takes a break from shouting at the tech crew to explain the plan: the show will start on the stage with several Italian performers, then BAND will enter and lead the audience around the city to the various locations where performances will be staged. IVAN leads BAND and a number of Italian performers through the town, stopping frequently to arrange scenes and shout at people. BAND is given directions like, ”Make the music of love…NOW NOW NOW!” (what this refers to they have not been informed, so they improvise) and constantly exhorted to sing louder. After hours of running around in the Mediterranean sun, BAND begins to suspect that IVAN is making most of this up on the spot.

Toward the end of the route, BAND is arranged in a parking lot and instructed to play “Bargain Day.” BAND begins to play and IVAN abruptly walks away to get something, leaving them to their own devices. Bored and feeling a little snarky, the musicians begin to sing on the word “meow.” The following scene ensues:

BAND giggles though several choruses of "meowmeowmeow" while Molly films them. IVAN returns. The BAND, attempting to maintain some facade of professionalism, reverts back to the real lyrics of the song. IVAN shouts at all the other straggling performers, arranging them around the still playing BAND. IVAN realizes that the BAND is now singing words. IVAN yells at the BAND to go back to singing "meow." IVAN yells at the other performers to join in, singing "meow." This goes in the show.

AND!!! This entire thing was caught on tape for your viewing pleasure:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxaP_MtU8V0

Their rebellion codified, BAND is exhausted and utterly defeated by the time rehearsal ends. Sunburns have set in, fingers are raw, voices are hoarse, feet are sore (damn you, cute shoes) and stomachs are roaring with neglected displeasure. In addition to their improvisatory responses to IVAN’s unexpected musical requests, BAND has now been playing their Life Motive intermittently for nearly six hours without a break.

After rehearsal the musicians retire to the green room for the food they have been promised, but upon arrival, they discover that the performers will be fed in five hours, after the Spettaculo has concluded. BAND improvises, eats entire bag of peanuts, gets into hair and makeup and prepares for the show. The cast is called to order and takes their places.

SCENE TWO: The Spettaculo

PERFORMERS enter and walk single file to the stage, led by two tuxedoed men riding fanciful old bicycles. Several OPERA SINGERS perform, followed by BAND, who bursts onstage exuberantly dancing and trying to make “Bargain Day” heard to three hundred people without amplification. BAND dances offstage, still playing, and leads the audience down the street to the place where NAOMI’s silks are hung. BAND arranges themselves between two buildings and begins to play “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” NAOMI enters in a gold leotard, envisions something resembling the once-contents of Frederico Fellini’s subconscious mind, sings, performs a theatrical silks routine and exits. BAND comes down from their positions, stands in a line before the audience, and plays “Bargain Day.”

NAOMI returns in a peasant-girl costume and leads BAND down the street in a variety of marching formations. Audience follows, BAND continues to play “Bargain Day.” Halfway down the street, BAND turns around as directed and starts walking back toward their confused audience. BAND wades through the audience and down a set of stairs to a path along the lakeshore. BAND arranges themselves into a new tableaux and stops playing. An ITALIAN ACTRESS rises from the water. BAND makes the music of love,

which they have discovered to be in the key of G major. BAND stops playing as ACTRESS picks up two bowls of fire and dances with them hypnotically. ACTRESS finishes her dance in an uncommon moment of silence. The spell hangs in the air for a moment, and is promptly interrupted with “Bargain Day.”

BAND leads audience down the stairs and along the lakeshore and stops halfway along the path, where two VIOLINISTS play a brief piece on top of a torchlit bench. They finish and BAND leads audience out to a dock with the gossamer strains of “Bargain Day.” BAND, now joined by VIOLINISTS, stops on the dock facing the audience and continues playing as a rowboat approaches the shore with a tuxedoed man behind the oars. The music stops and an OPERA SINGER in a white dress sings an aria from the boat. The aria ends and the performers pause as they realize that the next cue was never given. An awkward silence, then a shout from the crowd: “LIFE MOTEEV!”

BAND begins to play and lead the audience to a dramatically lit medieval church. BAND climbs church steps, stands on precarious ledge, waits for audience and continues to play “Bargain Day.” The ITALIAN ACTRESS from before delivers a monologue at the top of the church steps and collapses dramatically at the end. The moment she hits the ground a beautiful ITALIAN DANCER emerges from the shadows artfully tangled in a flowing costume. She artfully untangles herself, performs a brief modern dance piece and finishes to applause. NAOMI gives the cue with her kazoo and BAND kicks into an inspired rendition of “Bargain Day.”

NAOMI leads BAND down the street and stops them at a parking lot illuminated by giant projections of insects and flowers. The audience arrives, two VIOLINISTS play a brief piece and another OPERA SINGER performs. An IMPASSIVE WOMAN who has been seated in the center of the parking lot stands and walks to a small wooden chest several feet away. Pink Floyd begins blaring at top volume through a hidden PA system and the bug projections begin to cycle faster. Deadpan, the IMPASSIVE WOMAN opens the chest, takes out a floppy sun hat and puts it on. A shawl is produced, followed by a parasol. The projections reach a fevered pitch as she slowly opens the parasol, twirls it once and moves it in a circle. The projections begin to slow down and she returns the items to the chest, climbs inside and closes the lid top on herself. Music stops. Timid applause. “Bargain Day.”

BAND reaches another parking lot and arranges into formation with the other performers, all of whom begin to meow furiously. IVAN, lurking in the background, beams approval. Large fireworks strung over the parking lot are lit, producing a spectacular sparkling twenty-foot sheet of flame and a churning maelstrom of thick white smoke. Visibility drops to two feet and the musicians begin to hack and cough as the smoke consumes them. ANDREW, eyes and lungs burning, attempts to continue singing, chokes violently and fails. NAOMI clasps the hem of her dress over ANDREW’s face as he attempts to continue playing. ANDREW falls in love with her a little more. A second row of fireworks is lit, smoke gets thicker and audience also begins to cough violently. BAND makes the executive decision to lead the audience out before the smoke has dissipated and the people follow enthusiastically. BAND has not stopped playing “Bargain Day.”

The end is near. BAND leads the audience back towards the piazza, stopping to listen to another aria being delivered from a second-floor balcony. As directed, BAND watches the singer with exaggerated wonderment, perhaps a little more exaggerated than instructed. The aria ends and the “Bargain Day” commences in full ragged force as BAND plays the audience back to the stage for the finale. Though there is plenty of space in the piazza, the audience chooses to sit sixty feet away, leaving a gaping cobblestone hole in front of the stage. NAOMI, as requested, has climbed up into a large dramatically lit tree behind the stage. Her action has not been specified but she commits to being in the tree with such focus and dedication that no one questions why she is there. The finale begins. Several more arias are sung, a belly dance number is performed and Jennie Knaggs plays a solo tune during which the sound guy decides not to amplify her guitar. BAND then performs a rendition of “Your Cheatin’ Heart,” riveted by its novel inclusion of a third chord. The show concludes and the performers take a bow, followed by IVAN, who prances onstage for a deep curtsy and enthusiastic shouting.

The Spettaculo ends as a huge banner proclaiming something applause-worthy about Piediluco makes its way through the crowd, held aloft by a flotilla of industrial-strength balloons. A tuxedoed man lights some fireworks at the bottom, hefts the banner and launches it into the air in a shower of sparks. The banner soars across the obsidian lake, crosses the moon, and melts into the darkness as the last spark dies out.

BAND makes the music of silence.

Thwarted Cirque du Soleil audition video

In the middle of our Amsterdam travels, Cirque du Soleil contacted Naomi and asked her to submit a video audition for a new show in LA. It included a singing, acting, and dancing section, with very specific requests. They wanted to see dancing "like Cyd Charisse, from movies like Singing in the Rain." So both of us decided to learn a Cyd Charisse/Fred Astaire dance from the movie "the Band Wagon."

Naomi learned the choreography from YouTube, and taught it to Andrew, who has less dance experience, but kept up marvelously. We spent several sweltering mornings in a borrowed dance studio with many windows, none of which opened, and no fans or air conditioning.

In the end, it turns out that Cirque du Soleil cast the role weeks before the deadline of July 15th that they gave Naomi, so the audition unfortunately did not happen. But we now have many videos of us trying to dance like Cyd Charisse and Fred Astaire in a dance studio in Rieti, Italy!

*note: please watch the original video after you watch this. not before. it will blow your mind.

Return to Labro

After a month of romping about Europe we finally returned to Labro to rejoin the Art Monastery. It was cold and raining when we arrived, a bizarre reprieve from the heat wave that seared Umbria for the week prior to our return. Our housing situation had changed in the month we were gone, leaving our cozy room unavailable and other options scarce. Using what we had, we improvised some DIY sleeping quarters in the ground floor of the Art Monastery’s occupied staff apartment bedroom. (Which we later left in favor of a tent in the neighbor's yard.) Not a terribly comfortable way to resume our foray into Art Monasticism, but we made do.

The Art Monastery was buzzing like a nervous hornet on our first day back. A sizeable number of shows were on the horizon and the promotional engine was cranking at full speed to keep up. The load was so great that the Art Monastery staff requested a week of everyone’s time to pick up their slack and play administrative catch-up. Office work was not what we had come for, but with everyone else volunteering we agreed, against our better judgment, to help as well. Had we known that at this moment and many others we’d be expected to dedicate significant amounts of our work time to Art Monastery administrative/community responsibilities, perhaps we would have structured our arrangement a little differently. It’s hard to tell, but hey, Buyer Beware. Now we know.

Several days later the Art Monastery was graced by the arrival of one Miss Jennie Knaggs, self-described “sassy classy lassy” and country-western singer extraordinaire. Jennie had come from Detroit to be a featured headliner at a country music festival the Art Monastery was throwing in several weeks’ time. We and the other resident musicians were tapped to be Jennie’s backing band, though most of us had little or no experience playing country music. Andrew had played with Jennie at Burning Man several years earlier and was excited to work with her again, but the rest of the gang wasn’t entirely sure what they were about to do.

As it turned out, working with Jennie was a dee-light. Not only an incredible musician and performer, Miss Knaggs has spent a decade of her young life becoming a comprehensive walking encyclopedia of western swing, old-time, honky-tonk and country-western music, which was about to come in very handy. The day after her arrival we learned that Jennie, now advertised in tandem with “her American Cowboys,” was the only act that had actually been booked for the upcoming two-day festival. How this happened is still mysterious, but we rolled with it, shifting the band’s focus from absorbing style and technique to learning large amounts of music as fast as possible. Fortunately, our high-ridin’ country-western chanteuse was up to the challenge and began cranking out leadsheets for what would eventually become a full three hours of material. Bless you, Jennie Knaggs.

Repertoire on the way, we began to assemble a heroic rehearsal schedule for the following three weeks. A major impediment stood in our way, however: our drummer Rob had no drums to play and there was nary a contrabass in sight for Andrew. Since our first month in Labro countless attempts had been made to rent or borrow instruments for the band; musicians, music stores, music schools, friends, friends-of-friends, former-roommates-of-friends-of-friends-that-we-met-that-one-time…the Art Monastery had tried them all, but to no avail. Rehearsals had to continue, so with a collection of sonorous pots and pans and Andrew’s trusty ukulele we forged onward. With Naomi on board, vocal arrangements came with astonishing speed and fury, but the instrument question loomed over our heads as the country festival drew nigh.

Work on building the festival lineup was still crawling along, so Naomi decided to pitch in. Part of the festival’s nebulous entertainments had been promoted as “Booze & Blues,” and Naomi seized the opportunity to assemble a blues set with the band, buying us another precious hour of music. Art Monastery affiliates Liz and Anna volunteered their services on vocals and soon we were rehearsing two bands back-to-back. Rehearsals were necessarily intense and options were limited, forcing longer and longer rehearsals as our deadline approached.

With time running out we were increasingly unable to accommodate additional demands on our time. Several folks at the Art Monastery kindly offered to cover the musicians’ weekly chores, which helped immensely. Despite this, we were completely unprepared for the next curveball. Two weeks before the festival we were told that a well-known Italian theater director was interested hiring us (particularly Naomi) for a gig the following weekend and wanted the following afternoon to rehearse with us. We were dubious. A gig is a gig, but we had a deadline coming – could we afford the time for another project? The Art Monastery staff felt that this connection would be a good networking opportunity, despite the additional time commitment, and finally persuaded us to take the gig.

We had no idea what we had just gotten ourselves into.

The string of events that followed were so bizarre, so sprawling, so full of mirth and ridiculousness that they need a separate post to relate. Hold onto to your unitard and sparkly hats – the infamous Piediluco Spettaculo is next!

Funny Signs Continued

This is an addendum to the last funny signs post. We found more!

This one is quite old actually, from our first weekend in Italy on a day trip to Orvieto. Twilight popsicles. In Edward and Jacob flavors. Seriously?

Funny plant names at the Berlin Botanischer Garden

I don't have anything to say about this... I think it's a cleaning product.

Berlin!

Greetings once more! We are out of the thicket of our last few gigs in Italy and are now able to post more regularly. There’s a few weeks of catch-up to do, so let’s begin.

After several fun days in Frankfurt we packed our belongings and hopped a bus to Berlin. We had been told that the bus was a cheaper option than taking a train and a cheaper option it was, albeit a tedious nine-hour trip. Sitting in a chair for a really long time can be surprisingly tiring, and our energy levels were very low by the time we got to the bus station. Stumbling slightly, we navigated our unwieldy gear through the maze of the Berlin subway system and finally emerged on Oranienburger Strasse for our final destination.

Our home-away-from-home in Berlin was KuLe, one of the oldest artist squats in Berlin. In America, taking over an abandoned building in a major city and making it your permanent home seems a little unusual, but there are a number of such places in Berlin. East Berlin and its people were in terrible shape after the Berlin Wall fell and their subsequent exodus to the West left abandoned buildings everywhere. Artists slowly began to occupy and develop these abandoned spaces, many of which are still around today.

Kule was one of these, an abandoned apartment building with no roof and a tarnished façade that belied its cavernous interior. A group of artists moved into the building in 1990 and were eventually able to get legal ownership of the place, all the while using their meager resources to turn the building into a beautiful arty paradise. And paradise it was; gorgeous murals in every stairwell (some with permanent sound installations) a floor-to-ceiling mosaic bathroom and no less than fifteen artists living communally in some of the coolest rooms you’ve ever seen. The Art Monastery’s director lived in Kule for a number of years and hooked us up with one of his old buddies who still lives there. For seven Euros a night we got our own fully-appointed corner in the attic with blanket walls and a skylight looking out across the city center. Gorgeous.

In Berlin we had once again been hooked up with free circus tickets (thank you Gregg!) but were at risk of missing the show due to our late bus. Upon arrival we threw on fancy clothes, got done up and sprinted out the door to make it to the show in record time. Yes, we could have just gone in our street clothes, but this is us we’re talking about and it’s the CIRCUS! Our destination was the Chamaleon, an ornate ballroom in the middle of Berlin that has been retrofitted for producing world-class variete shows. This was a more contemporary circus than the one we saw in Amsterdam, resplendent with nebulous themes of Resisting Conformity and the Struggles of Urban Living. Replace Cirque du Soleil’s mystical language and psychedelic bodysuits with high-decibel rock music and edgy urban fashion and you get the basic idea. Though not as engaging as Circus Roncalli, there were some cool acts, including a terrifying four-man Chinese Pole act. Imagine, if you will, four men climbing tall poles, hugging their knees around the poles in a tight fetal position, then releasing their grip to fall nearly twelve feet before tightening their grip and catching themselves inches above the floor. In unison. Wow.

Going to the circus together is a special experience for the two of us and usually results in endless postshow scheming about developing fantastic new acts. After shows we also tend to scheme about running off with the circus and this was no exception. Know someone who runs a traveling circus? Drop us a line. Have van, will travel.

The following day took us to the Tiergarten, the Berlin equivalent of Central Park. We had high hopes for a peaceful day of lounging in the grass, but Berlin had other plans for us. We had been told there was a game that day, and figured that this meant that places like public parks would be deserted in favor of bars and public viewing squares. Hundreds of rowdy German soccer fans thought otherwise. The Berlin public viewing is so well attended that the only place they can hold it is IN THE TIERGARTEN. You can refer to our first Frankfurt post for an overview of German soccer culture, but for now it will suffice to say this was the biggest frat party we had ever seen, complete with the requisite indecipherable group yelling and assertive vomiting. We had fun nonetheless and enjoyed being outdoors so much that we decided to visit Berlin’s botanical gardens the following day.

As with soccer, the Botanischer Garten was even more intense than its Frankfurt counterpart. If you’re ever in Berlin, check it out – just take the subway to the Botanischer Garten stop, take a right at the giant strawberry and you’re right there. (Incidentally, the German word for strawberry is “erdbeer,” which for some reason provided us with hours of chuckles.) The Botanischer Garten’s breathtaking greenhouses and seductive paths were alone worth the price of admission (no, we didn’t hop the fence this time), but it was the pack of feral children playing on the lawn that made it an afternoon to remember. When was the last time a naked two-foot elf appeared out of nowhere to stare you down for the duration of your ice cream cone?

After Berlin it was back on the plane for the next installation of our saga…the Triumphant Return To Labro is next.

Amsterdam to Germany, being pampered by real adults.

The second half of the second half of our Amsterdam odyssey found us quartered in the home of Marije Nie, Art Monastery associate and tapdancer extraordinaire. That's her to the right, wearing the fake paper moustache, clearly the most adorable person in the world. We had met Marije a week previous and talked with her about putting some kind of performance together during our final days in Amsterdam. When we returned from Belgium she and her boyfriend Erik not only offered to house ourselves and Art Monastery bandmate Charles for five days (a long time to have three musicians in your home) but had gotten the four of us a gig at her cousin’s wedding the following weekend. We spent several days rehearsing for the show and put together some material that we will likely continue to work on when Marije visits the Art Monastery in July. Marije drove us around, introduced us to her Amsterdam musician friends, fed us, found us rehearsal spaces, borrowed us gear, educated us on the Dutch arts scene and rocked some crazy foot percussion to boot. Very cool woman; check her out at http://tapdanser.ne.

While in Amsterdam we discovered that we would not be needed at the Art Monastery until a week after our projected June 13th arrival date. A quick inventory revealed a disproportionate number of connections and resources in Germany, so we threw some travel plans together and shortly found ourselves bound for another strange and wonderful adventure.

Naomi’s father Jeff attended high school in Germany for a year, where he still has many friends that were connected with several during our stay, the first being Jeff’s friend Gabi, who met us at the Frankfurt train station, tended to our weary souls and got us situated in her daughter’s apartment in downtown Frankfurt. There were several public viewings of the Germany vs. Australia World Cup game that night, so we decided to go check one out for ourselves. We had no idea what we were in for.

We followed a flood of rowdy soccer fans into a large fenced outdoor square containing a huge TV screen. Though it was still two hours before the game, the place was packed with thousands of people consuming gallons of beer while blowing air horns and chanting “DEUTSCHLAND!” in varying stages of coherency. It soon became clear, however, that we were only in the overflow lot. The primary lot was even bigger and packed so full of people that the fences could barely contain the flag-waving tide of red, yellow and black. We watched the game for awhile but had much more fun watching the sea of fans, who would transform from typical spectators into a deafening mob for several minutes anytime a goal was scored. We left before the game ended and walked home through abandoned streets, the lone atheists at the prayer meeting.

Our Frankfurt adventures also included a visit to Marburg to see Jeff's friend Andreas. The picture to the left is Naomi with Andreas and Gabriella (Andreas' wife) and Gabi. This was the closest to everyone actually looking at the camera that we managed to get. I think the dog was doing something funny.

While in Marburg we visited a store that only sold gummi candies (85 varieties), ate a delicious homecooked meal with Andreas and had the most amazing ice cream of our lives. The establishment will remain unnamed so as to keep the spot from blowing up, but if you ever happen to be in Marburg, ask a local for directions to the best frozen treats in town and go for the coconut, two scoops for a Euro fifty.

The castle that Naomi's dad lived in (well next to...) in high school!

The following day we returned to Frankfurt and wandered around until we stumbled on the Palmgarten, a large botanical garden in the center of town. We spent the day ogling magical plants from the world over, many of which can be seen in the photo from a few weeks ago. In the evening we stopped at the supermarket for our new favorite edible: green sauce. Green sauce is a Frankfurt specialty consisting of seven different herbs in a yogurt-like base with the consistency of salad dressing. We know for sure that it’s got dill and sweet relish in it, but the rest is still unknown. What is clear, however, is that this is the most delicious sauce ever. We ate nothing but potatoes and green sauce for an entire day an were happy as clams – go to Frankfurt, get some, get your mind blown.

Our last day in Frankfurt was spent with Gert and Ula, two very distant relatives (like, twelfth cousins) of Naomi’s dad. Their beautiful house in the country was a welcome break from city living, as were their amazing hospitality and functional washing machine. We mentioned an interest in cycling before we went to bed and awoke the next day to discover that a guided 35-kilometer bike tour had been arranged for us. Wow, German hospitality. Wow.

Our tour of the countryside terminated at another delicious ice cream parlor, where we marveled a new and bizarre culinary creation: spaghetti ice. This frozen confection consists of vanilla ice cream squeezed through a giant garlic press, producing a pile of what looks like…you guessed it! Spaghetti. The frosty faux noodles are then topped with strawberry “marinara” and white chocolate “parmesan” flakes. Other iterations of this concept can involve anything from lime-green kiwi sauce to reddish-brown chocolate meatballs and ambiguously lumpy white “alfredo.” How someone came up with this in a country known for sausage and sauerkraut is still a mystery.

Next up: a tale of falafel, futbol, circus and bohemian living in the “poor, yet sexy” hub of contemporary German culture. Stay tuned…Berlin is next.

Auf Wiedersehen!

More to come...

So we have been insanely busy here at the Art Monastery! Also, we had no internet at all for most of a week, so we're VERY behind on blogs. They're sitting on our computers waiting to be posted, and it will happen, never fear! So keep eyes open for more amusement to come. At some point.